over worried ? m i? :(

finally i success...yeah!!!!
i should sound happily...bt i nt..why?
i wish can figure out the reason behind too..
i seems lk start wondering something...
do u thk i m over worried??
i duno ;(

it's absolutely a tough period for me...
one round by one round interview..and each time i need to be well prepared,
yet study alots is a must..it has make me so stress and till insomnia ==
day by day..cant slp cuz stressful by the interview..omg..
i need to thx Heineken...i only can get sleep cuz of u :)
how tired n exhausted i m,all jst reflect on my eye bag n dark circle!
damn sweat!
it's my dream company which i wish to get in since long time ago...
the first interview n second i pass successfully,even satisfy with my performance..
as the interviewer said:" i dun hv any reason that u cnt get this job"
damn happy whn heard this..it's mean a recognition for me?
i m extremely full of confident to myself.. yesss!!! =D
but whn come to the 3rd in,i m too nervous,cuz i told myself i wan to get this job successfully,i nt allow myself to make any mistake during this important stage..
thus,i gv myself so much of stress...arghhhhh...i m STRESS ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!
i hv been insomnia for how many days?
i hv been struggle on it for hw many days??
i hv been put hw much of effortss??
i dun even thk can count by my finger...;(

yet,hw do u thk of my 3rd in?
i hv failed it...
i sad lk fall frm top to the bottom..
nervous has make me cnt figure out the word frm my mind..
and yet cant ans the questions accurately even i hv been prepared for so long..
yet..he doubt on my effort,and asked me show him my hard work,
whn he saw the notes i hv prepared jst thick lk a book,he get shocked and straight away ask his secreatry to photostate all my notes(i duno y he do so)
end up,he open the door for me n prepare for my leaving,
bt i stun at the moment,i nt reconciled with it..
yet,before i leave,i asked:"do u satisfy with my performance??"
thn he jst stun for a short while,and he ask me to take a seat.
the first word frm his mouth:"u hv really failed me"
he actually hv expected more frm me,as i hv been well prepared..
i...i m so sorry..i murmured...i hv dissapointed u..i m too nervous!!
yet..i hope to hv one more chance...can i??
bt i dint speak out...
he keep explaining to me what in his mind...
some i heard some i nt..
and he said: "overall u are reasonable"
reasonable?huh?what r u trying to mean?
considerable??
step out with hopeless n energyless body....

whn the heavy rain had jst splash on my face..
i receive a ph call in a sudden,is another manager called me for 4th interview!!!!!!!!!!!!
aiksss...i m definitely speechless,cuz i start to doubt on myself :S
yet,i went for the 4th in...without nervous,without worried..
cuz i control well on my emotion,dun allow myself to failed again cuz of nervous n yet cnt ans the ques properly ~~
and today, i receive ph called again.
"u are informed that u hv successfully get the job"
and they wan me start working asap,as they r willing to pay instead of my two mth notice..sound greatttt isn't?
wowooooh~~at the moment i really excited n happy til max..
bt whn i calm down,i start to thk a lots... :(
whther i hv make a shrewd decision?? n im nt goin to regret after this??
whetehr i hv deserve better thn my current situation?
whether i can get what i wan?yet can fullfilled my needs?
i duno.

u thk i m thking too much?bt i cnt even stop thking this...
once i nt get the ans i wan...those ques wil jst keep playing in my mind..
oh...........shittttt!!
eYe!!what u want?
whn ppl failed u,u sad for whole day;
whn ppl wan u, u worry for whole night.
my bad pattern seems lk come out again..
i m thking too much!!!
plssss awake me!!!!!plsssss!