so called life?

This period that i have been went through is so called life?the sadness is at maximum and can imagina how tough i need to be to overcome with all that..sometimes when you think you are the most lucky and happier person in the world,which mean mayb had gained something which everyone wish to have,like relationship,career,family,financial freedom...etc..it's sound like a true perfect life which everyone dream for it...but even though you have gain it you will never expect what will going to happen for the next,either wil keep it on or just lost it in such a moment...whose's knw?it's all depend on "fate"...and no matter good or bad thing happen must hv to accept even mst learn to accept :( cuz i hv no power to change it nor control it..i hv no way to struggle n probe for the truly bad of misfortune that i encountered. .while face and solve is the most simple way..it's jst sound simple yet it's hard whn it cum to real :(
high expectation in self is a gud thg in order to grow further,bt yet sometimes it really need some luck.no doubt i believe in luck so much.this is real happen on me,when i try hard to achieve what i hv dream for so long,bt it's wil never come true,mayb is nt the gud timing?or i hv no luck?i duno...what for i been torturing myself in this short life,and tears non stop T_T
it jst make my life pointless.
quit myself frm the extreme bad working environment is the only way to gain bac my smile n happiness,it's jst a simple decision bt i took so long to made it.i m absolutely nt a gud decisive person,so i been always mess up my life.
learn frm mistake,mayb some frens wil advise me in tis way,or learn to be a decisive person,thgs wil become more easy.ya,i agree wif that..but why i couldn't?
wat's my problem?i hate myself badly T_T
whn everythg seems lk dy settled,bt it doesn't because there is stil important stage after things getting settle, what i need to do is --face with it.
face everythg that i need to face,dun ever think to escape,there is no way for me to escape,wil hv no solution out thr，stand on the origin where problem arises,solve n face wil only do =.=
not jst nid be to tough,bt oso be brave!
u can do it >.<